Tell The Internet

Yes, I really am OCD enough to still have thisClick to make it bigger*

For this, you need to know two things:

1. Talent vacuums Peter Andre and Katie “Jordan” Price have separated after four years of marriage; and
2. Several years ago, for reasons I can’t fully remember now, I followed a year’s worth of predictions by newspaper “psychic” Mystic Meg.

Suffice to say, that Meg made a number of predictions for the coming (as was) year of 2006 in popular “newspaper” the News of the World. Over the following year I made it my tedium-filled internet business to see if any of these predictions came true. The results were pretty damning. Of the estimated 30 definitive predictions Meg made, five (5) came “true”, that’s 1/6^th of her predictions; let’s face it, you’d be able to make that amount of shit up for the next 12 months just as accurately. But Rupert Murdoch wouldn’t pay you for them.

Anyway, when the terrible news of the Andre/Price split broke on the world, I couldn’t help but recall that one of the five correct predictions Meg made was: “Jordan and Peter Andre will be lovers in 2006 and for ever…”

Oh dear. I’m not going to take any pleasure in Andre’s misfortune - he’s a close** personal friend; I am however going to take pleasure in knowing that “Mystic” Meg is even worse a psychic than I’d thought before. As a post-script, since I did all this crap, Meg has never made another series of predictions like this. Of course, she’d have known that I was going to check up on her…

* That’s what she said! etc.
** Well, I know his cousin

So, hang on, if pig-death flu is going to kill us all, we all have to get flu shots just in case. But! We know that the flu vaccine causes autism which is also caused by MMR vaccine, does this mean the the NEW WORLD ORDER will be populated by mental kids doing drawings of Westminster Abbey and counting cards in Las Vegas? WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

It’s childish, but it’s fun…

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The Daily Telegraph web editors decided that, for Budget Day 2009, they’d have something called a “Twitterfall”, which is essentially a clever way of collecting everything anyone says about something, as long as they use a “hash tag”; if you don’t use Twitter, don’t worry. Try it though, it’s addictive and for reference I’m @mattkitson.

Of course, we childish internet people soon discovered that the web feed on the Telegraph budget page wasn’t filtered, so just by adding the tag “#budget” to one of your tweets, anything you typed would appear on the front page of one of Britain’s most respected newspapers pretty much immediately and without anyone apparently checking it for swears.

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what sort of thing happened next:

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The experiment didn’t last very long…